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Janhvi Kapoor in a recent conversation talked about having a ‘weird sense of relief’ after the death of her mother Sridevi. Janhvi Kapoor is Sridevi and Boney Kapoor’s eldest daughter. She also has a younger sister, Khushi Kapoor who will soon make her debut in the industry. Talking about Sridevi’s death, Janhvi said she started seeking validation from the audience when her first film was released and called herself ‘stupid.’ Also read: Janhvi Kapoor, Boney Kapoor remember Sridevi in heartbreaking posts
Sridevi was found dead in a Dubai hotel on February 24, 2018. She had gone to Dubai with her family to attend the wedding of her nephew Mohit Marwah. Almost 6 months later, Janhvi’s debut film, Dhadak released in theatres, which also starred Ishaan Khatter.
Talking to Barkha Dutt for Mojo Story, Janhvi said, “When I lost mom, of course, there was this huge tragedy, there was a hole in my heart. But there was this horrible feeling of ‘something bad has happened’ to justify all the great things in my life and all the privileges and the things that I got easily which I heard my entire life. I thought ‘Ok now something bad has happened. I deserve this. I deserve this horrible thing that has happened to me. It was a weird sense of relief.’
Janhvi went on to talk about how she dived into work to cope with the loss of Sridevi. “During COVID I was forced to spend a minute with myself, and thoughts, and I realised actually how damaged I was,” said Janhvi about doing things she didn’t need to do at that time. “Another aspect of it that I reflected on, that I think really messed me up was the validation and approval that I sought from my mother. I gave the audience that responsibility,” she continued. “Not everyone in the world is going to love you like your mother. So, when my first film came out I was like ‘I will get the audience’s love through mom and it will be her.’ That was stupid of me, because a, it was my first film, and b, with the baggage of privileges with me, not everyone is out to love you. And, I could have done a better job also,” Janhvi added.
Last month marked 5th death anniversary of Sridevi. She shared a photo on Instagram and captioned it, “I still look for you everywhere mumma, still do everything I do hoping I’m making you proud. Everywhere I go, and everything I do- it starts and ends with you.” Janhvi will be next seen in Bawaal with Varun Dhawal and Mr & Mrs Mahi with Rajkummar Rao this year.
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